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Read it again every once in a while. Reddiquette is a living, breathing, working document which may change over time as the community faces new problems in its growth. I know every situation is different, just wondering what all of your general timelines look like. I meant how has it happened for you. How have your relationships progressed? If you're seeing each other every day, it usually becomes pretty obvious earlier than that; if it's more of a times a week thing it can take longer.
Like you said, every situation is different. I met my current girlfriend at the end of May and even before the first date I had a sneaking suspicion she was 'the one.
Are we dating - what's your relationship status?
Intense, emotional sex followed the second date. I 'proposed' to her with a green apple Ring Pop three weeks after the first date, she enthusiastically said yes to be my girlfriend, mind you. A week later I came over to her apartment and, like every time before, she attacked me at the door with passionate hugs and kisses.
We're moving in together at the end of September, which will be a little more than four months after first contact. If someone told me an identical story I'd have some concerns, but for me I know our situation.
Nothing feels rushed, everything has come naturally. Our close friends have chimed in and they fully support us because they can clearly see just how perfect we are for each other; to be honest, I couldn't care less what outside observers have to say. We clearly said 'no thanks' to conventional timelines and have no doubts whatsoever, but this is our situation.
If it feels right, do it. After years of being a serial monogamist and moving from woman to woman I finally feel like I'm ready to settle down. Not dabbling in hyperbole when I say she's the girl I've long dreamt of meeting but never thought it'd happen. Whoops, totally forgot to mention how we met. Basically this is what happened: I moved back to my home state this past March and fired up Bumble right after, wasn't necessarily looking for any serious but more interested in meeting people in a casual manner.
Suspended the app after a week because I didn't feel ready but reinstated my profile two weeks later. Suspended it again, waited a few more weeks and tried again. About six days after this I was close to deleting it for good until I matched with my girlfriend, and we had instant chemistry even though it was over messages. The rest, as they say, is history: I date only one person at a time. Going out with multiple people who have an interest is kinda douchy in my book. I just date as a training ground to see whether I enjoy being with that person.
And ideally these reasons are known to the other person — because there can be a lot of potential for hurt feelings when people are on different pages.
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If one person is hoping to find the love of their life while the other person is just looking for sex, someone will likely end up being hurt. You may not fully understand what you want, but if you have no idea of what you are looking for how will you even know when you find it? Back to the question about when dating becomes a relationship casual to more serious , I guess this begs the question of what exactly a relationship is.
And really, that will mean different things to different people. When two people are dating each other exclusively, I think you already have the early stage of a relationship. It DOES however mean you are willing to give it a chance and see where it goes. It just means that you are interested in THEM, and want to learn more.
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The question about when dating has gone from a casual thing to something more takes on additional importance when you are older, especially when you have come out of a long term relationship or marriage. The level of closeness, knowledge and familiarity. So they rush things. It took being with that other person and sharing their life and experiences over an extended period of time.
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Along this lines, a buddy of mine told me that when he started dating he was looking for a future wife, and he had to get out of that mindset, because you never know where dating is going to go so you need to just take it one day at a time. Are you dating for fun? Or because you are ultimately looking for something long term? Only you can know that answer. And that answer should impact how you approach dating.
How Long Should You Wait Before Having the ‘Relationship’ Chat?
When you know what you want, it becomes easier to decide if the person you are with matches what you are looking for. Is this a person I want to continue to see, learn, and share time and experiences with? Do I look forward to seeing them? And do they in turn look forward to seeing me? Well that is a tough question.
I generally always dated with the idea in mind that it could turn into a relationship. I totally lacked the skills in those days to talk about differing expectations. This story originally appeared on The SUn. Published here with permission.
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While we're on the topic, discover what in the world is 'gatsbying'? The Sun August 8, 9: That's a lot of post-work drinks and picnics in the park Life as a Duchess 0: You thought 'ghosting' was bad? Clearly you've never been 'curved'.